Most people believe they communicate well enough. We have conversations, we get work done, we live life. However, that’s vastly different from getting through a day instead of meaningfully communicating in ways that ease work and enhance relationships.
The irony? Knowing when your day-to-day communicative challenges may be pointing to something genuinely worthy of attention. Everyone stumbles on a conversation sometimes and sometimes our emails don’t land as we intend. That’s completely normal. But when certain trends emerge or work progress seems stagnant for murky reasons, it’s time to assess what’s really going on there.
You Keep Hearing the Same Things
Here’s something that might catch you off guard: when multiple coworkers/managers/clients say the same thing about your communication style even if they articulate it differently, that’s not something to blow off as concern, but it’s not exactly good news either.
“I feel like you’re not paying attention in meetings.” “Sometimes your emails come off abrupt.” “I’m not sure what you’re thinking.” It’s tough to hear these comments, even as they’re articulated differently, because they’re subjective. That’s because they’re focused on perception, not fact. But this is good to know because it shows where you may be missing the mark and why others are interpreting your words and actions so differently than you intended.
But more importantly? This is fixable. Many professionals find that through a communication skills course, they get new tips and outside perspective on bridging this gap so that their naturally communicative tendencies work for them instead of against them.
Difficult Conversations are Impossible
When people are challenged by talking about difficult subjects, it’s generally not out of weakness or fear. It’s often because people want to keep things light and professional. However, avoiding these discussions doesn’t make anything better: the issue is still there.
If you constantly find yourself not being able to speak up about a situation that bothers you, letting frustration build instead of addressing it or feeling genuinely overwhelmed by routine conversations at work, that’s not a failing personality trait. This simply means you haven’t developed this skill yet. And truthfully? Difficult conversations are part of every position, from projects to interpersonal dynamics, which means when people learn how to handle them easily, it opens the floodgates to workplace improvements and career moves.
Meetings Could Go So Much Better
Some workplaces are higher pressure than others. But when people continuously leave meetings confused, hurt or without resolution, something isn’t working within the communications process.
It presents itself in interesting ways, sometimes people talk themselves in circles without any conclusion; sometimes everyone assumes a decision has been made only to realize 24 hours later that everyone believed different things; sometimes meetings feel good but hour later no one has implemented the new suggestions.
This isn’t as prevalent as people think. When meetings go poorly (or are just plain wasted time), it’s teams going in different directions, projects misaligned and frustration mounting over what should’ve been 1 hour and eliminated the need for 5 hours of problem correction later on. When this becomes commonplace, it’s time for effective communicative skills across the board to reframe how work gets done.
Email Provokes Unanticipated Conflict
Written communication patterns illuminate what’s hidden during face-to-face interactions. Someone may be warm and fuzzy in person but projects cold and demanding via email. Or the inverse, great via email but hard to follow during a conversation (and vice versa).
If you find that people misunderstand your emails frequently, that emails create more problems than they solve, or you’re always saying “that’s not what I meant,” point towards something that can absolutely be fixed with focused attention.
More often than not, people don’t realize their writing is the issue until it’s either pointed out or until situations blow up beyond belief (I read this short email as you’re upset; I didn’t respond because your email was too long). Important points get lost because of poor formatting, but only people are unaware until they find themselves reiterating what they meant desperately seeking clarification.
Your Career is Stagnant for Vague Reasons
This is one of the hardest yet most common patterns to recognize. Work is strong, engagement is palpable, results are present—but somehow promotions go elsewhere and opportunities don’t seem to materialize in-kind: “he/she is not ready for this level;” “seeking more executive presence.”
Vague terms like these relate back to communication. When people are promoted, they need to explain nuanced situations simply, take people with them for new ideas, give feedback that’s concrete enough for change and represent work effectively to those who matter up the hierarchical chain of command for such results. These skills do not come inherently from the good work done at entry-level positions, there are nuances related to communication skills that fill the gaps entrepreneurs need.
The hard part? Acknowledging that being technically skilled is no longer enough; the good part? Communication skills can be taught and learned until they become second nature.
Defensiveness Deflates Quickly
It’s worthwhile to note what happens internally when someone tells you you’re wrong or gives feedback you disagree with: does your first instinct go toward telling someone why they’re wrong, putting up the defensive walls or justifying your approach?
Sometimes being defensive is normal, everyone has knee-jerk reactions based on emotions. But when defensiveness is compounded and becomes the first response almost every single time, it actually diminishes good feedback, that could’ve helped productive discussions, that could’ve solidified relationship-building interest down the line. Colleagues who find themselves constantly on the receiving end of defensive coworkers learn how to walk on eggshells around them or skip over honest conversations altogether.
Team Dynamics Keep Following You
Many people find themselves moving from team to team, and similar conflicts follow them along the way. Colleagues aren’t understanding; outsiders feel ostracized; team dynamics appear out of nowhere, if this keeps happening from team to team, it might not be bad luck or difficult personalities; it might be communication habits unintentionally creating bumps along the way toward connection.
And this isn’t about being a bad team player, not having good intentions, it’s about failing to recognize habits that exist but don’t serve the connected effort well, and why, for example, interrupting when others are still talking, missing social cues others naturally gauge, explaining things in ways that make sense internally but not so much for others catching on in a delayed fashion.
The Real Benefit?
Communication skills become sharper with practice and focus; just because someone trained does not mean they’re fake or put into a box where they become someone they’re not; instead this helps identify natural patterns, learn functional approaches for various settings and trial alternative strategies in a safe space for experimentation.
Good programs assess real situations: giving feedback that can actually be implemented; asking questions to get at the crux of issues; explaining decisions to foster understanding from all sides; learning how to manage conflict so trust doesn’t get damaged; reading rooms better than expected, that support development beyond just surface level improvements where it’s easy to spot but hard to feel compounded efforts effective enough for follow up implementation.
The earlier one develops these skills throughout their career, the easier access becomes for opportunities down the line; waiting until communication issues arise to cause heavy consequential damage makes it harder on everyone, but it’s never too late. Recognizing where growth can emerge is often the hardest part, the application becomes practice.
Strong communication skills aren’t just useful professionally; they reduce daily frictions that make all types of relationships easier; those get in the door with strong technical skills. But how someone communicates once they’re in makes all the difference about what’s next. It’s not whether communication skills make a difference, it’s when it’s appropriate to want communication skills intentionally developed.
