Many years ago, during my elementary school days, on several occasions I accused my parents of trying to ruining my social life because I was forbidden from joining other children to swim at a borrow pit behind our school compound. Every school day during the break period, all the “popular children” in my class would go to the borrow pit to swim leaving behind a few of us to settle for soccer games. Back then as I listened to their sometimes obviously exaggerated stories of their swimming escapades, I thought my parents were not only over-protective but also exhibiting some qualities of sadism for not allowing me to join them. Back then, I felt my parents’ stringent rule against swimming in the borrow pit was ruining my social life not realizing that I was having a thinking error of victimization. In order to overcome the thinking error of victimization, one thing I can do is to have a victor’s mindset.
Having a victor’s mindset will help me to overcome the thinking error of victimization by making most of the given circumstances instead of dwelling on what went wrong. Bryn S. Elliott, in her book Dying to Live: Experiencing God’s Redemptive Power in the Midst of Tragedy, stated that, “A victor realizes that they have control over both their outlook on life and their future. A victor doesn’t let life’s circumstances take control of their outcomes; no matter the situation. A victor has an inward focus, not in a selfish way but in a reflective and mindful way. This means that they aren’t looking around at what everyone else is or isn’t doing and passing judgment; it means they are focused on what they themselves should or shouldn’t be doing. A victor will always look for where they can grow, develop, and improve themselves.” Having a victor mindset like this will help me to reframe a negative situation to positive instead of playing the victim.
Looking back to my elementary school days, I realized that instead of assuming that my inability to join the other children in their swimming escapades was ruining my social life, I would have displayed a victor’s mindset by telling them interesting stories about our soccer games, thereby overcoming my thinking error of victimization.
An Essay submitted on May 17, 2024 by Othuke Andrew Akpeli to BYU-Pathway Worldwide for PCI 101: Life Skills.
Photo Credit: Psychology Today
