Cybersex and the Nigerian youths: A re-invention of square wheels for leaders of tomorrow

Introduction

From time immemorial, the quest for sexual satisfaction has led humans to explore various means using different media. With the advent of internet, the Nigerian population especially the youth had also explored the internet in their quest for sexual satisfaction through the use of computers and internet-enabled smart phones (Godson, 2012).

Cybersex, also called computer sex which a virtual sex encounter in which two or more people connected remotely via computer network has become a new avenue for youths, adolescents and adult users to send each other sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. In one form, this fantasy sex is accomplished by the participants describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies (Hahn, 2006).

Adegoke (2007) stated that cybersex among Nigerian youths often includes real life masturbation. In addition, he said that the quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants’ abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners.  The most important determining factor of cybersex as identified by Busey (2009) is the ability to create vivid sexual imagination and arousal.

Cybersex can occur either within the context of existing or intimate relationships, e.g. among lovers who are geographically separated, or among individuals who have no prior knowledge of one another and meet in virtual spaces or cyberspaces and may even remain anonymous to one another. In some contexts cybersex is enhanced by the use of a webcam to transmit real-time video of the partners. Channels used to initiate cybersex are not necessarily exclusively devoted to that subject, and participants in any Internet chat may suddenly receive a message with any possible variation of the text “Wanna cyber?”, “Wanna cam?” or a request for “C2C”/”C4C” (“cam to cam” and “cam for cam”, respectively) (Siemaszko, 2006).

The most commonly used media by Nigerian youths in cybersex include Internet chat rooms (such as IRC, talkers or web chats) and on instant messaging systems. It can also be performed using webcams, voice chat systems like Whatsapp, Instagram, Skype, Facebook, Yahoo! Messenger, or virtual worlds like Second Life(Ito, 2007).

Conceptual framework on cybersex

History of cybersex

Since the beginning of the internet in the late 1980s, it has been used by individuals to make sexual contacts and explore sexual interests. In societies that are technologically advanced enough, it has played a large role in helping the general population acquire knowledge about sex and sexual related activities. Studies indicate that in 2006, more than 70 percent of 15-17 year olds in the United States have used the Internet to access information about sexual health (Jones, 2007).

For many individuals, sexual experiences on the internet go far beyond just searching for information about sex. The internet has evolved to be a place where people can meet and actually communicate with each other in a sexual nature. Thus, the concept of cybersex was born and created a new way for people to communicate their passion for sexual pleasure. In its most basic form, cybersex consists of two or more individuals exchanging erotic messages via email, chat or instant messaging programs. As technology has advanced, there are new forms such as televideo cybersex, in which individuals perform sexually for each other in front of webcams, and even the use of devices with which people can stimulate one another’s sexual organs from a distance through appliances connected to their computers (Jones, 2007).

There are also a large number of local sites all over the world geared towards the particular cultures of which they are a part of. Online sexual materials and activities have been particularly influential in the lives of some socially out casted individuals such as sexual minorities and individuals with disabilities. For lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) persons it has made available a wide range of information and emotional support, aided in the “coming-out” process, helped individuals to combat shame and discrimination, find friends and sexual partners, and discuss issues like HIV status (Godson, 2012). The internet also provides new ways for individuals who are disabled to communicate their sexual desires. The use of cybersex allows some of those individuals to overcome physical limitations they may have in their search for partners. The internet gives those individuals a new way to meet people and connect with others in a setting where the physical body does play as large of a role as it does in the non-online world.

Culture of cybersex

Schwartz and Southern (2010) stated that cybersex has become the new “tea room” for meeting anonymous partners and engaging in a fantasy world. For those individuals who are compulsive cybersex participants, it represents a scenario in which the “high” of being wanted by someone for sex regulates the need to feel included and be appreciated. The fantasy world of cybersex is an experience in which a person escapes the demands of daily life, and enters a world of their choosing.

To many cybersex participants, they see an endless variety of partners and sexual activities in their fantasy world and intense orgasms from the minimal investment of a few keystrokes are powerfully reinforcing(Schwartz & Southern, 2000). However, compulsive cybersex users may find that more frequent contacts or more illicit activities are required to reach the original high of an ideal sexual encounter. In fact, compulsive cybersex participants frequently spend hours trying to locate fantasy partners or recreate role-play situation (Busey, 2009).

As the amount of sexually explicit content available on the internet has increased, so have attempts by governments and institutions to restrict its availability either through legislative means or though technological methods such as filtering software. Different counties have approached censorship attempts in different ways. In the United States, the government has taken a role in attempting to criminalize online “obscenity,” passing the Communications Decency Act in 1996, which was struck down by the Supreme Court, and later, in 1998, the Child Online Protection Act, which, among other things, mandates that schools and libraries install software to block access to sexually explicit material (Jones 2007).

Contributory factors to the practice of cybersex

According to Sean (2005), one of the major contributory factors to the practice of cybersex is the dramatic increased accessibility to online resources. The growth of Smartphone technology has made it increasingly difficult to know who is participating in cybersex, allowing more access in environments like the workplace. Internet cafes and wireless Internet connections from bars, restaurants, libraries and other locations are also contributing to the practice of cybersex across all demographic groups.

Another reason people may become involved in cybersex is that it allows people to create a made-up world, portray a new identity, and escape their present environment. Consequences like sexually transmitted diseases hold almost no risk, and a person can view thousands of different sexual partners or materials with the false belief that the activity is harmless (Amanda, 2008).

Similarly, people engage in cybersex because they feel they can experiment sexually without anyone knowing their true identity, providing what they believe to be a safer environment than a paid sex establishment. They can also portray a version of themselves that is a different gender or age, adding to an element of secrecy. Experiences with cybersex can also cost less than paying for other sexual services – another reason people easily become addicted (Hahn, 2006).

Adegoke (2007) stated that some of the contributory factors to the practices of cybersex among Nigerian youths is based on the following believes:

• Since cybersex can satisfy some sexual desires without the risk of a sexually transmitted disease (STD) or pregnancy, many perpetrators of the acts believe that it is a physically safe for people to experiment with sexual thoughts and emotions. Additionally, people with long-term ailments (including HIV) can engage in cybersex as a way to safely achieve sexual gratification without putting their partners at risk.
• Cybersex allows real-life partners who are physically separated to continue to be sexually intimate. In geographically separated relationships, it can function to sustain the sexual dimension of a relationship in which the partners see each other only infrequently face to face. Also, it can allow partners to work out problems that they have in their sex life that they feel uncomfortable bringing up otherwise (Gov, Brian, Royce & Lever, 2011).
• Cybersex allows for sexual exploration. For example, it can enable participants to act out fantasies which they would not act out (or perhaps would not even be realistically possible) in real life through role playing due to physical or social limitations and potential for misunderstanding, such as incest, zoophilia, pedophilia, or even rape.
• It takes less effort and fewer resources on the Internet than in real life to connect to a person like oneself or with whom a more meaningful relationship is possible. Furthermore, cybersex allows for instant sexual encounters, along with fast response and gratification.
• Cybersex allows each user to take control. For example, each party has complete control over the duration of a webcam session.

Consequences of the practice of cybersex

According to Todd, Shannon and Malenie (2006), cybersex, as a visual misrepresentation of sexuality which distorts an individual’s concept of sexual relations by objectifying them, which in turn alter both sexual attitudes and behaviour. It is a major threat to marriage, to family, to children, and to individual happiness.

Individual consequences of cybersex

• Impact on the mind: Cybersex significantly distorts attitudes and perceptions about the nature of sexual intercourse. Men who habitually practice cybersex have a higher tolerance for abnormal sexual behaviours, sexual aggression, promiscuity, and even rape. In addition, men begin to view women and even children as “sex objects,” commodities or instruments for their pleasure, not as persons with their own inherent dignity (Todd et al.,2006).
• Impacts on the body: The practice of cybersex is very addictive. The addictive aspect of cybersex has a biological substrate, with dopamine hormone release acting as one of the mechanisms for forming the transmission pathway to pleasure centres of the brain (Todd et al.,2006).
• Impacts on the heart: The practice of cybersex affects people’s emotional lives. Married men who are involved in cybersex feel less satisfied with their marital sexual relations and less emotionally attached to their wives (Todd et al.,2006).

Family consequences of cybersex

Cybersex has significant impact during all stages of family life. For a child exposed to cybersex within a family setting, cybersex causes stress and increases the risk for developing negative attitudes about the nature and purpose of human sexuality. For adolescents who practice cybersex, their attitudes toward their own and others’ sexuality change, and their sexual expectations and behaviour are shaped accordingly. For adults, cybersex has harmful and even destructive effects on marriage (Michelle & Kimberly, 2006).

• Impact on children: The impact of a parent’s use of cybersex on young children is varied and disturbing. Cybersex eliminates the warmth of affectionate family life, which is the natural social nutrient for a growing child. Other losses and traumas related to the use of cybersex when a child is young according to (Michelle & Kimberly, 2006) include encountering pornographic material a parent has acquired, encountering a parent masturbating, witnessing and being involved in parental conflict, etc.
• Marital dissatisfaction: The use of cybersex undermines marital relations and distresses wives. Husbands report loving their spouses less after long periods of looking at (and desiring) women depicted in In many cases, the wives of cybersex users also develop deep psychological wounds, commonly reporting feelings of betrayal, loss, mistrust, devastation, and anger in responses to the discovery or disclosure of a partner’s pornographic online sexual activity(Michelle & Kimberly, 2006).
• Increased infidelity: Cybersex leads to much higher levels of infidelity among women. Women who engaged in “cybersex” had about 40 percent more offline sexual partners than women who did not engage in cybersex(Michelle & Kimberly, 2006).
• Separation and divorce: Addiction to cybersex is a contributor to separation and divorce. Cybersex, which often takes place in these chat rooms, was a major factor in separation and divorce: In over 22 percent of the couples observed the spouse was no longer living with the “cybersex” addict, and in many of the other cases spouses were seriously considering leaving the marriage or relationship(Michelle & Kimberly, 2006).

Measures to combat the practice of cybersex

The first step to overcoming the practice of cyber sex is to recognize that the problem exists, then follow the following measures as stated by Schnieder (2012).

• Limiting or eliminating computer time. If you must be online, try to do only essential activities such as email for work.
• Using parental control software to block sex sites. If possible, have a friend or loved one set the administrative password so that you can’t change the settings.
• Pursuing other activities. Choose one or more enjoyable activities, such as cooking, exercising, or reading, and plan to do them during the time you would have been online.
• Enlisting the help of friends and family. If you feel comfortable discussing your practice of cybersex, ask the people who care about you to help you quit. Ask them to plan outings with you so you’ll stay busy. Find someone you can call when cravings seem unbearable.
• Seeking a support group to help you from the practice of cybersex.

References

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